A retired baseball umpire gets a call from a son he never knew he had, who wants to learn about his origins. He resists, but the young man visits him anyway. They have almost nothing in common, and getting information out of his father is next to impossible in this comedy of persistence.

• 2000—World premiere, Ensemble Theatre of Cincinnati.
• 1999—Stage read at Eugene O’Neill National Playwrights Conference.
• 2006—Published by Dramatists Play Service, August.